Post by NUADA SILVERLANCE on May 16, 2011 22:16:54 GMT 1
THE VERY SECRET DIARY
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»» day one: Human Inferiors Slaughtered: None. Disheartening. Stubble-Update: Puberty still seems to have passed me by. Nuala wasn't a late bloomer! Got hit in the head with a rock. Insolent cur! Side-Note: Happy meals are fun. I'm Lovin' It!
»» day two:[/color] Human Inferiors Slaughtered: One. I talked to my therapist, and the knave dared suggest I had people problems. I am a prince, therefore I am
»» day three:[/color] Human Inferiors Slaughtered: Who cares. I saw Nuala getting dressed. She beat me with a broom. Totally worth it.
»» day four:[/color] Human Inferiors Slaughtered: Lost count. I tried snacking on human children today. They were a bit too dry. I think I microwaved them too long.
»» day five:[/color] Human Inferiors Slaughtered: Not enough. I asked Bea who she had to blow to get last bottle of magical bleach. She said Manning. Soooo not worth it. Am beginning to worry though. Roots are showing.
»» day six:[/color] Slaughter Count: -1. My therapist faked his death. Lance polished:
»» day seven:[/color] Human Inferiors Slaughtered: +1. Went back to see my therapist. He says I must be more accepting of the human world. Beheaded him. New therapist tomorrow. Still the strongest.
»» day eight:[/color] New therapist says I'm OK. He isn't. He did not know about spear-polishing tricks, and then wanted to cuddle. Spoke of relationships. Killed him. New therapist tomorrow. Human Inferiors Slaughtered: +1.
»» day nine:[/color] Human Inferiors Slaughtered: 0.
Went giant hunting instead today. He killed Bambi.
I cried so hard.
»» later, day nine:[/color] My new therapist says I'm incredible. Says that I am tragically not appreciated enogh for my worth. It's like he reads my mind.
More appointments to come!
»» day ten:[/color] Human Inferiors Slaughtered: Still 0.
Still mourning the loss of Bambi.
Thorkich says it was Kahndra's fault. Stupid cat.
»» day eleven:[/color] Spotted a patch of skin on the back of Eleen's head while walking to the market. Suspect she may be a male. Human Inferiors Slaughtered: None, must get busy. Still the strongest.
»» day twelve:[/color] That ignorant human tried murdering Bea.
Almost was the prettiest.
Had a heart.
»» day thirteen:[/color] Human Inferiors Slaughtered: 4 billion. I need an ego booster.
Stubble Update: Nuala has more facial hair than I do.
Embarrassing.
»» day fourteen:[/color]Really liking Bea.
But what will Eleen think? Better not mention her bald spot...
Or the happy face I drew in it, it sparkles in the sunlight.
»» day fifteen:[/color] Snuck into Nuala's room. It's getting too easy.
Tried on all her ladies underwear, but had to get dressed quickly.
Almost got caught.
»» day sixteen:[/color] Stupid fat giant stole my now unpolished spear.
Stubble Update: I have hair, butt not on my face.
Son of a witch.
»» day seventeen:[/color] Went to the BPRD to find Narnia.
Found a shiny medal in Ludmila's chamber.Stole it to replace spear.
Not nearly as shiny. Not nearly as satisfying to polish either
»» day eighteen:[/color] Its Dick Head's birthday next week.
Must learn new strategy for blowing out the candles.
Stubble Update: none.
»» day nineteen:[/color] I wish to bake an apple pie for Nuala.
Do not know if I can stay erect and not burn the house down.
Dilemas, Dilemas.
»» day twenty:[/color] I think I need antibiotics...
I have this horrible anus pressure and it's really uncomfortable..
Spear polished: 13 times.[/color]
